What is love? Love lifts us up where we belong. Love is the answer to most of the questions in my heart. All you need is love. Boy, The Beatles sure sound like they've got it all figured out but Paul himself got divorced, so what does that mean?
Maybe it doesn't mean anything.
And if Jack Johnson is right that love is the answer to most of the questions in my heart, I think I've been looking for answers in all the wrong places. Instead of answers I seem to have just more and more questions.
"Only unfilled love can be romantic"
--- Vicky Cristina Barcelona
This hit me like a lightning bolt.
Bat Girl, as my best friend Jack had hear about me talk about on so many occasions, is that unfilled love. And it is unfilled not because great obstacles standing before us like a family feud or me going off to war, it was simply because I preferred it that way. The story goes, that I met this girl my sophomore year in an independent study class. Brown hair hazel eyes and a smile to rival the Mona Lisa. We love the same music and share the same interests. If you ask me for what I look for in a girl I would list you bunch of attributes but really I'd be describing her. Later I found out she was dating one of my friends and I soon got involved with someone else so time passed until our paths crossed again in senior year, this time single. Well, I was single.
As we hang out more and more, it became clear to me that she's always dating somebody. It was also clear that she's got some serious daddy issues. Almost every other guy she introduce me to was somebody she used to go out with or date. She didn't want me. Anybody would do, really. She just wanted a warm body to keep her from being bored. I don't even think she believes in the concept of love. I've seen her w/ other guys that she's with at the time and it was just as believable as Jennifer Lopez's acting. Oh, and the friend of mine that she was dating when I first met her? She cheated on him.
Rather than doing what I should I almost prefer keep my image of her as it is, at least the good part, instead of finding out for myself first hand I was afraid of what she would turn out to be. But until I find somebody just like her, which is unlikely unless she has a clone, I keep romanticizing. I've gone out w/ other people and all I wish was that I was w/ her. My short stint w/ Vodka Girl (she was Russian... and you guessed it, she's a drinker) ended in a complete failure and fiery crash and I don't think I've yet to fully recover from that. Which brings me up to date, I don't even want to give her a nickname for the slim chance that this somehow finds its way to her computer screen. For whatever reason, maybe b/c I'm socially programmed to be awkward when it comes to this stuff, or that I still have some healing to do from the scars Vodka Girl left, or my romanticism with Bat Girl, I'm already trying to find reasons why it won't work. She's too conservative. She doesn't share my interest in music. She's taller than me by two inches and there's no way girls like shorter guys, just look at how well Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise turned out. And most of all, she's nothing like Bat Girl.
Not very upbeat for Valentine's, I know. Sorry. Oh, in case you were wondering why I called her Bat Girl it's b/c of a certain mascot she was affiliated with and I don't want to disclosed too much more than that lest unwanted problems and drama is traced back to this post. It has before and it probably will again. I just repeat the same mistakes in different form and magnitude.
Maybe it doesn't mean anything.
And if Jack Johnson is right that love is the answer to most of the questions in my heart, I think I've been looking for answers in all the wrong places. Instead of answers I seem to have just more and more questions.
"Only unfilled love can be romantic"
--- Vicky Cristina Barcelona
This hit me like a lightning bolt.
Bat Girl, as my best friend Jack had hear about me talk about on so many occasions, is that unfilled love. And it is unfilled not because great obstacles standing before us like a family feud or me going off to war, it was simply because I preferred it that way. The story goes, that I met this girl my sophomore year in an independent study class. Brown hair hazel eyes and a smile to rival the Mona Lisa. We love the same music and share the same interests. If you ask me for what I look for in a girl I would list you bunch of attributes but really I'd be describing her. Later I found out she was dating one of my friends and I soon got involved with someone else so time passed until our paths crossed again in senior year, this time single. Well, I was single.
As we hang out more and more, it became clear to me that she's always dating somebody. It was also clear that she's got some serious daddy issues. Almost every other guy she introduce me to was somebody she used to go out with or date. She didn't want me. Anybody would do, really. She just wanted a warm body to keep her from being bored. I don't even think she believes in the concept of love. I've seen her w/ other guys that she's with at the time and it was just as believable as Jennifer Lopez's acting. Oh, and the friend of mine that she was dating when I first met her? She cheated on him.
Rather than doing what I should I almost prefer keep my image of her as it is, at least the good part, instead of finding out for myself first hand I was afraid of what she would turn out to be. But until I find somebody just like her, which is unlikely unless she has a clone, I keep romanticizing. I've gone out w/ other people and all I wish was that I was w/ her. My short stint w/ Vodka Girl (she was Russian... and you guessed it, she's a drinker) ended in a complete failure and fiery crash and I don't think I've yet to fully recover from that. Which brings me up to date, I don't even want to give her a nickname for the slim chance that this somehow finds its way to her computer screen. For whatever reason, maybe b/c I'm socially programmed to be awkward when it comes to this stuff, or that I still have some healing to do from the scars Vodka Girl left, or my romanticism with Bat Girl, I'm already trying to find reasons why it won't work. She's too conservative. She doesn't share my interest in music. She's taller than me by two inches and there's no way girls like shorter guys, just look at how well Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise turned out. And most of all, she's nothing like Bat Girl.
Not very upbeat for Valentine's, I know. Sorry. Oh, in case you were wondering why I called her Bat Girl it's b/c of a certain mascot she was affiliated with and I don't want to disclosed too much more than that lest unwanted problems and drama is traced back to this post. It has before and it probably will again. I just repeat the same mistakes in different form and magnitude.
1 comment:
To me, this really is love:
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13
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