My Misunderstanding

Couple weekends ago I went to the Austin Texas Exes Young Alumni pub crawl on W. 6th street. A few of us ended up at The Ranch to conclude the night. Well, Rana turned to me and said she needs some guy advice. Half jokingly I pulled some material from Chris Rock and I said, "It's simple. You don't need to complicate things. Guys need food, sex, and silence. Feed us, fuck us and shut the hell up. Women? Women need chocolate, compliments, and an occasional pair of shoes." We were laughing a bit and I added that honestly I think us guys have such a hard time figuring out what women want is b/c they don't really have a clue themselves. Somehow that led to me telling her about this terrible date I had when my junior year in high school where I took this really quiet Jewish girl that was on the dance team out. She didn't order anything at dinner, not even a salad, so she was watching me eat... and we ended up watching Mel Gibson's What Women Want. Yeah, it was just a bad date. And this is when Rana said:

"Oh, is that when you knew girls weren't......"

Weren't what? I thought in my head. When girls weren't for me? Is that what you were going to say. Dang, she thought I was gay. Well, Rana was embarrassed by it and apologized profusely. She thought I was mad, which I wasn't really... it was more a hit to the manhood, although now it's quite hilarioius in recollection.

I did try to replay that evening/night to gather clues to why she might thought I was gay. I did talk about Sex and The City... but it wasn't like I was really excited about it. Alamo Drafthouse was doing this thing where they serve Cosmo for the screening but I knew that b/c I'm on their event mailing list and the whole conversation started b/c they were talking about some cute guy at the event which led to the theory of "he's just not that into you" that was proposed by one of the episodes. Also, I did talk about Top Chef and Project Runway and I'll just be frank, the primary reason I watch I watch those two shows is b/c of the host. Seriously, Padma and Heidi are freakin' hot. And I am known to whip up an occasional dish or two, especially for Mother's Day.

So friends, pls, do not judge a man's sexuality by the TV shows he watch.

Oh, I do have to mention this other funny story from that night. Rana was getting Cassie to write down her contact info on the back of this business card and just hands her the first pen she found in her purse. All I heard was that a few minutes later Cassie going "this is a magic pen." Rana and I both investigate, well, turned out that Rana handed her a highlighter.... and Cassie was buzzing too hard to tell the difference.