My Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich

Some people have said that I watch too much The Daily Show... some straight out call me a cynic. You know what? They're right.

I try to stay away from political talks and what not b/c it just annoys me. Nobody really gives a damn what the other side thinks. All they're hearing is how the other side disagrees with them and all they're thinking in their head is how they're going to poke holes in their arguments or how to rip their opponents a new one with some trivial statistic. I don't want to impose my political views on anyone. If this post bores you or upsets you, feel free to stop reading anytime.

I still remember this episode of South Park from the 2004 election. It was called "Douche and Turd." I don't watch South Park that often. I do think it's funny and they hit it right on the mark when the episode is some kind of social satire like the Douche and Turd episode. It's a lot like The Simpson in a way. It's just gross and crude sometimes and I don't necessary like the means they try to achieve comedy all the time. This episode aired in late October in 2004, just right before the election.

The main plot is that PETA is protesting the South Park Elementary School's usage of cow as its mascot so to appease PETA the school is voting between a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich for its new mascot. Dividing opinions form; conflicts ensue. Stan, one of the main characters didn't see the point of voting between the two joke candidates and there's a whole bunch of other stuff that happens in that episode including an appearance by P.Diddy and his Vote or Die campaign. At the end of the episode, Stan's dad tells Stan at the dinner table that all votes matter even if it's for a losing cause, because "you see, it's always going to be between a giant douche and a turd sandwich."

That's kind of how I feel. It's easy to be cynical. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

In case you feel I have the wrong attitude, I have to let you know about my experience with politics growing up. This is not to justify my attitude (b/c I don't feel I'm wrong in the first place); this is just so you can gain some understanding, which is what we should all do regardless in politics or not. Growing up in Taiwan, I have seen plenty of bribery that went on to get business deals done, straight up buying votes, and just simply a joke of a government. I have seen friends of my dad throwing dinner parties and make under the table deals in order to secure votes. In the US, it exist as well, just not in such obvious forms. I just simply cannot trust the people in power are making decisions with OUR best interest in mind. It wasn't that George Bush doesn't care about black people. George Bush doesn't care period. Barbara Bush and 90% of Republicans in Washington is surprise to find that we still have poor people in America when Katrina hit. "I thought we got rid of them when Reagan was in office."

It's just all a big joke to me now. I remember when I believe in all this "democratic process." In high school I believed people could make a difference and I got involved in Student Council but I quickly saw that there's no such thing as leadership in that organization. Everybody was just using that to pad their college application. Every year we fight to be able to have lunches off campus, at least maybe for the senior or freshman and each year the administrators shut us down. Eventually we quit trying and just go on eating our cookies during StuCo meetings.

My freshman year in college I got involved w/ Student Government again. I thought this was going to be different. This is college. People care and there are real issues to take care of. Well, I was half right. There are real issues but instead they waste 3 hours each Tuesday night in the SSG building promoting and debating agendas of no real interest to us students. It's still a popularity contest. Which tickets has more cool people from different greek organizations ends up sweeping the votes. Each year we want lower tuition and more benefits for the students and each year administrators shut us down. Eventually we quit trying and go on fighting about things that look like we're making a difference, like the Cesar Chavez statue. Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not some anti-Cesar Chavez asshole or I don't think he deserves a statue. Each student ended up contributing I believe $2 out of their student fees to build that statue and did it provide a better student life for us? I guess you could make the argument that now you walk by the West Mall you feel slightly more inspired instead of the urge of going up the Main Tower and sniper-rifle all the people that are trying to hand you a flyer.

Now that in the real government, I'm inclined to have the same feeling I did in high school and college. I've been to Young Democrats AND Young Republicans meetings. Quite honestly, they're both just about equally clueless. The last time I engaged in an actual talk about politics with a friend he said he was voting for McCain and I probed "Why?" "No reason; mostly because I can't stand Obama." Again, I'm not here to impose my view on who I think is the better candidate or fit to lead our country. I just feel like in this YouTube/MTV era it's not about leadership or the policies anymore. It's just all about who's cool or funny. Whatever happen to leaders like FDR and Lincoln? It seems like starting with Nixon we just have these likable guys with questionable leadership skills, or as I'd like to call it, Ron Paul clones (I do have some reservations about putting Reagan in this category though). You can even make arguments against JFK and LBJ. I blame this on the invention of television :-P

I guess the next time someone says to me "how can you be so cynical" I have to respond "how can you be so naive." I don't know what to do from now on. I'm trying to remember how I coped when I found out Santa wasn't real and use that same methodology.