My Test

Look, I’m a patient man. In fact, I consider myself to be very patient. You’d have to be in this household w/ a constant hormonal mother, and by hormonal I meant that as a euphemism for psycho. If my mother had been an alcoholic or has Alzheimer it would’ve been easier. It would at least help us explain the crazy mood swings she has. Sad thing is, whenever things aren’t going perfectly her way or she sense a little bit of stress she takes it out on the rest of us. So in fact, you’d either have to be very patient in order to survive in this family or you’d have to be insane just like her…

The thing is that I don’t get angry hardly ever at all, but when I do you’d better watch out. I don’t like it when I’m angry, and you sure as hell won’t like it when I’m angry. No, it’s not like I turn green with raging muscle from my head down to my purple shorts but every man has his limits. My boiling point is a lot higher than most but that also means that when I reach that point it’s going to be hotter and burn much more. Right now, I’m being tested. Ever since I’ve been on board this stupid ship I’ve been tested. First they tell us the excursion to Granada and Alhambra is full and we can’t go, now they’re telling us that we can’t go on shore to Morocco b/c of visa problems while the agents back in the States told us that we’d be able to if we go w/ an excursion group. I don’t know if it’s b/c of the international staff they have on board here but the way they say no is very hard to take or maybe I just have my heart set on going to Alhambra and Marakech and the rest of Morocco. They don’t just tell you “I’m sorry, no.” They like rip your heart out and directly shoot you down. It feels ten times worse than a girl breaking up with you I swear.

I really don’t like to complain. I don’t. But sometimes you really just gotta puke and let it all out. Unfortunately the blog-sphere becomes an easy outlet for puking.

Anyway, the Alhambra situation was eventually resolved since there were so many people on board wanted to go. I estimated about 7 tour buses with 40 people on each bus, or about 300 people. However, right now we’re docking at Casablanca and I can see the King Hassan II Mosque no more than a couple of miles from me but I’m stuck on this god awful ship filled w/ old people. It really makes me want to go berserk and burn this ship down.

I’ve been on a cruise couple of years back in the Caribbean’s but this ship just seems to be filled w/ old people. It’s as if the entire baby boomer generation from across the globe decided to book this cruise. This cruise is fully booked… makes me wonder if the global economy slowdown and credit crisis we hear in the news so routinely is just a joke. **memo to self: find companies that profit from baby boomers other than ISRG… something related to hip replacement or diabetes. I joked w/ Sarah the other day that the distribution curve for age on board if severely skewed to the right and if you run a t-test or z-test for my age I’d fall outside of even two standard deviations (if you are unfamiliar with statistics lingo, 2 standard deviations, at least in a normal distribution bell curve includes roughly 95% of the entire population)

I’m quite possibly the worst target customer for cruises. It’s like dying of a slow death for me. The only difference between prison and this is that there’s a poker table on this ship. Even the internet on board is slow. I don’t do slow. There are very few exceptions, like dancing and kissing. I should’ve been a New Yorker, really. I cannot stand the pace these people are moving and there’s no way to pass them in the hallways b/c other than the fact it’s narrower than usually, these old people travel in groups. Now I know what the scene you see in movies or commercials where a flock of sheep walk out onto the highway while you’re driving your jeep around in Ireland feels like. I am really considering running around the ship and put those slow moving vehicle signs on people’s ass, you know, the ones they have for like farming vehicles traveling on the highways. It’s not just mind-numbingly slow. I can feel a lot of other body parts going numb… no wonder there’s a demand for Viagra.

Dow cracked the 8,000 resistance and I really want to trade. My worst fear is that it's going to crack during the two weeks I'm gone. At first it looked like it was going to hold. I have no idea what's going to happen. It looks like Asia is up overnight so who knows.