I'm indecisive. I have grown to accept that about me. As my sister, who reads into astrology probably more than she should, explains to me that it's all part of the territory w/ Libras. Just like a scale, we like to weigh the both sides thoroughly before reaching a conclusion. You'd think that would be a problem as a trader who has to make split second decisions all the time. Through my life experience though, it seems that I only have problems with decisions that affect me for more than 24 hrs. I have no problems picking out what to wear in the morning. If it looks bad I'm wearing something different anyway the next day. However, I've moved into the new house for almost 6 months and I still have tons of pictures and paintings that I have not hung up yet.
Many times people ask me what my career or life plans are and I usually say something about how moving from Taiwan to a podunk town in Kansas and eventually to Austin really has taught me that life never turns out quite how you plan it. I actually won a few competitions talking about this experience in Toastmasters, in which I also threw in a little line from Forrest Gump. You know, the one about chocolates. I'll also say that I know a decision has to be made at some point down the line whether I want to blaze my own trail or I want to take over for my dad. Being the type A or overachiever that I am I know I will want to try to do both, but life has taught me that something will have to take a backseat. I know at some point I want to go back to school for my MBA and what I study or where I want to go to school depends on this decision as well. At the moment I'm perfectly happy being a trader, just learning as much as I can about trading and keep on improving everyday. Funny that I probably said that just two weeks ago while chatting w/ an HP.
I believe that time has come.
With my dad out of the country and tax deadline approaching I had to devote a lot more time to the family business and I got a taste of what it would be like if I try to do both jobs. Maybe I've moved my own time table up but I figure the decision has gotta be made at some point. Plus there are a few transitions at some of our clients as well. The CEO of one of our clients passed away recently and a buyer has retired. I think my dad sees this as a good time to start hanging over the torch as well. We have a few products we want to bring on line and is working with another company in Memphis to enter into a partnership in the U.S. and we also want to sell in Europe. Maybe he think I'll do a better job or he's just too damn tired but he wants me to take the lead on this.
There are certain things I would do differently or how things should be done by the way we were taught in the business school. There are a few things my dad could be doing better when it comes to his taxes and honestly I don't think we really need our accountant except on a more consultative or audit role.
I believe there will be a time where I can trade full/part time and run the business effectively, although I know it'll take a lot more time and concentration. For the short run though I don't see that happening. We could be very busy all the way through August and then there's a big trade show that we go to every fall around the end of October/start of November and busy again through the end of the year. At the time being, I don't mind taking a little break from trading... especially with the volume being so pitiful.
The first question I had to answer for myself was that if I had to pick, which one would be first: the family business or trading? And I chose the family business, which leads to the troubling part for me. Do I trade at all? If I'm only trading part-time, is Kershner still the right place for me? Trading won't be a priority for me anymore and I'll be taking a cut of a pie that's gonna be significantly smaller if I'm not trading full-time. If I don't trade at Kershner, where would I go? Use my TD Ameritrade account? Go to Assent? What about the relationships I've formed during my tenure? I know it's just me, but I tend to put more value on relationships than most people. It's not simply just a business decision or I have to do what's best for me. It's never been that simple for me. Could I just pack up and leave everything behind to jump ship over to our competitor? That doesn't seem right to me after all the time and effort people have put into me and knowing that I won't get that team environment over at Assent.
I don't know. I'm close to the point where I can be a coach and I know Murphy would back me in a second. It would be a completely different scenario if I already had a few guys under me. It's not that I'm second guessing myself; it's just hard that I actually do like my job and the people I work with. At the moment, nothing is for certain yet... but I'm definitely leaning towards one way.
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3 comments:
Could you really abandon trading before you have completely mastered it? What about getting an MBA or running a business would lead to more self discovery and personal fulfillment than continuing as a trader?
As far as it being your obligation to the family business that would call you away from Kershner, and since you seem very attached to Kershner and committed to trading, it seems it would be worthwhile to explore possible solutions to that issue. Perhaps you could take a smaller leadership role, some sort of semi-annual oversight. Let someone else deal with the day to day logistics of running a business. Or if the business isnt inherently precious aside from its monetary value, sell it and use the money to help your family in some manner, or give to charity and invest the rest in a family trust for the future.
Do what you love and forget the rest, right?
Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to sound like a hater or how to live. This is just my 2 cents. It's hard as hell to get into Kershner and you didn't just get accepted, but you're actually doing well there. As someone who applied several times and just barely missed the cutoff ( I couldn't find an adequate second job), the thought of someone who made it walking away kinda stings a little. We probably competed for that job. I've paid the cost of losing and I think someone should benefit even if I couldn't.
My dad has a business as well and he expected me to take over. I probably would've done it if he hadn't been so greedy with the profit split (I'd still need a second full time job despite 60+ hr weeks). I am an only child, thus the expectation that if I didn't take over, it would eventually fail. Your family business is just that, a family business. Do you have siblings? Why must the complete burden be on you?
Traders get a bad rap from the general public about being greedy and self interested. That may be true for some people, but you've expressed an interest in coaching. You want to make a difference with those who want to be traders. You can still do it, and I'm not just saying that because I'm looking for a coach to pick me up. This recession is pretty bad for a lot of us.
Most of the reliable 9-5 jobs are gone for those who are recent grads, still at the beginning of their careers, or who've hit dead ends. There are fewer competing jobs to deter someone from their dream of trading. The lack of salary isn't an issue for someone who is unemployed, wants to trade, and has savings or some other means of support. The biggest obstacle is Kershner itself which is a victim of it's own success. People are doing so well that they don't want to teach. This is why it's so important to keep the people who want to teach other traders. You can make one hell of a difference right now.
A good friend of mine started about a year before me got a spot on his team w/ his coach so I guess I never saw it as difficult to get a job at Kershner. Things are different though now I think, esp after our restructuring in November. I think it all depends on who the coach that's looking to hire at the time, too. Some coach will just feed people through the machine and see who sticks.
I think I have a feeling on why you feel not a whole of experienced traders wants to be coaches right now, David. I'll explain in another post soon.
This is all purely a personal decision. It's not like I feel like I need to justify myself but it's nice to just think out loud for me sometimes. I think you'll see clearer in the coming posts why I did why I did.
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